This is my face. Or half of it at least. I like this picture. I took it! In a car, on the highway with the window down because our a/c was broken:) My husband was driving and I was trying to do my best "supermodel wind machine" for him to crack him up. I weighed 315 pounds in this picture. And I felt pretty. I have lost 32 pounds in the past 14 months, and I am trying love myself at every stage. Love me. Not what I look like, what I weigh, or how I fit into a dress. Love the person underneath it all.
It is such a heartbreaking concept - we often don't see ourselves as others see us.
But we do see others.
The people in my life at this age - age 35 - are all quality people. Every single one of them. I know that I could call them late at night and they would show up for me. I would show up for them and I hope they know that too. Every single one of those people are indescribably beautiful. And it has so little to do with their exterior - everything to do with their hearts.
Same here. I know that. I know that I show up, I shout out, I care. Those are the attributes I have that I need to hold on to and look for beauty in. Because it really is from the inside out. If I believe my friends are worthy of it surely I must see that I am too.
So selfies like this make me feel pretty. But I am on an inward journey to feel beautiful. As my body continues to let go of the weight it has carried for far too many years. The layers of protection and the cloak of invisibility.....as I shed the pounds, so too do I hope to shed the layers of doubt and insecurity.
I am beautiful. I am worthy. Because we all are.
-Amanda
