I grew up in the 90’s. Born in November, 1985, I was 4-15 in the 90’s. What a decade! We were blessed with an incredible back drop of music that permeated every experience good and bad. One of the biggest advantages of growing up in that decade though, was the payphones. A full decade before the inevitable ubiquity of cell phones, payphones were everywhere! On the corner of most gas station and grocery store parking lots, in clusters in malls, on main streets. Why was I so conscious of these phones? Because they were a way – often times the only way – for me to speak to my dad. When I was about 5 years old my parents separated. When I was about 6/7 my dad moved to a different province and I rarely saw him after that until I was grown. My mother was emotionally abusive to me and my siblings, as well as to my dad. Our communication was a point of control that she wielded anytime she wanted. But I, from an early age, rebelled against that – in secret. I called my dad….and he utilized what he could to help that communication be accessible to me. Calling cards. Collect calls. And later, a 1-800 number through his business. I often ran errands for my mother – running to the store for groceries, biking to grab diapers, and every chance I could, I called my dad. Sometimes to say nothing, sometimes to say I missed him. Whatever the conversations were to him…they were to me, a lifeline to someone healthy that loved me. It breaks my heart to think of what it may have been like for me if I didn’t have that. What do kids do these days? I survived what I witnessed and experienced at home in no small part to those interactions. Interactions I kept so close to the vest, I didn’t even tell my siblings about them until my late 20’s. I know kids are resourceful, and my hope is that current technology has replaced payphones in a way that is accessible for today’s young people. If there are any kids reading this blog…you can do this. You can rise above what is happening at home, you can break that cycle and you can and will do wonderful, positive things. Believe in yourself. And reach out to anyone you feel safe with. You are valuable and important, and you deserve to feel safe and loved. Those phone calls reminded me, even if I didn’t realize it at the time, that someone loved me and that what I was being told at home wasn’t true. You deserve to know that someone loves you too.
-Amanda
